“Simplicity is the secret of seeing things clearly … You cannot think a spiritual muddle clear, you have to obey it clear. In intellectual matters you can think things out, but in spiritual matters you will think yourself into cotton wool. If there is something upon which God has put His pressure, obey in that matter, bring your imagination into captivity to the obedience of Christ with regard to it and everything will become as clear as daylight…
Spiritual muddle is only made plain by obedience. Immediately we obey, we discern. This is humiliating, because when we are muddled we know the reason is in the temper of our mind.” -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for High Highest, September 14.
In Ladies’ Bible Study last week, we were talking about testing, proving we will do the right thing, be faithful,, and loyal to God, even when it goes against what we think is supposed to happen.
We were then talking about if any of us were going through testing and msot everyone was, some have some very alarming, sad trials going on.
Mine is different. Mine is a trial that keeps repeating itself. Apparently I haven’t got it right yet; and even that may not be accurate–as if I get it “right,” I win the big prize, a farm in Missouri.
We’ve been looking at moving to Missouri for 12 years, actively–desperately–trying to pull some huge piece of property off for 10 years. Now, today, we have everything, minus a water and septic inspection, set up in Missouri, but can’t do anything until this house in Colorado sells. Closed door.
I was worried. I fretted, I did mental push-ups, trying to figure out how to finagle the situation into my desired outcome. Finally, I could take it no more–I was driving myself crazy.
The Lord is so gracious and merciful to me. He hasn’t sold this house in Colorado, but he laid on me to concentrate on something else … the children and homeschooling.
It’s not that I don’t care about moving to Missouri–or sometimes it is. I’m waffling back and forth on my desire. Some things will be great, some will be good, most will be different. I’m not naive enough to think everything will be great, I just don’t know which parts I will wrestle with most.
Yesterday I was contemplating no Internet at the house–again. This seems like a better and better idea. Really. I’ll have my mobile service for me to be able to look things up, pay bills online, etc. I can do most everything from my phone.
To let the kids online, I’d have to take them to the library. They all have laptops or devices to us, they just need the WiFi. (How sad is it that each of the kids has their own device, yet they still want *more* in this world?).
Literally, I lived on $7/week with only a computer and Internet connection–in a house with utilities–for three or four months). How do I get the kids to be more thankful for what they have and not striving for more? How do they open their eyes to what they already have and look at anything new as an undeserved blessing from God?
Also, in the meantime, God has laid on me to write a book…again. Really, though, He’s combined all these pieces in my life–years of experience, knowledge, education–into one umbrella topic: Mom Management.
Time management, prioritizing, organizing, parenting, household, husband, and all the other contributing factors to women’s chaotic, pressured lives. All in one neat package–kind of.
How does one put it all in one book? So I write, and I ask God to give me the words, and give me the layout of the material so it is understandable and comprehensive enough to help the reader.
So rather than muddle myself down with Missouri, I occupy myself with homeschooling and writing. I trust God to do what needs to be done, and to put in front of me anything I need to be doing for Missouri. Worrying, fretting, daydreaming, etc. about life in Missouri is not going to get us there any sooner. Moving to Missouri–if it happens–will be on God’s timing and terms.
Thank You, Lord, for filling me with inspiration and everything I need to be able to write something helpful to so many; I pray it will be of service to so many and that they recognize your hand in their life and through it all that You will be glorified.
2 Kings 18:15
15 So Hezekiah gave him all the silver found in the Lord’s temple and in the treasuries of the king’s palace.
Hezekiah’s weak moment, the sin of taking the gold and silver from the temple to give to the Assyrian King–not believing that God would take care of him, trusting in the silver and gold… David sinned, though, too, and his lasted longer–a child, until that child was struck by the Lord for David’s sin.